Surrendering Youth?

So this was LAST year on the Cape -- late nights, lots of socials, belly aching laughs, one baby sleeping in the bedroom. We were practically kidless and crazy. But this year was a little different. Two babies, another one the way and the nights not so late, the laughs not so hard. Things are changing all around me. Babies everywhere. Priorities shifting. And still I am living it the way I always have (thank GOD Al and Barry are not having kids -- my life will maintain some normalcy -- but won't it blow for them if/when Jim and I take the plunge -- still not sure about that one). It is not that I don't like babies; I do. They are cute and amazing and learning every second. It's the loss of self I don't like, the loss of freedom, time and energy. People close to me pledge that it is "different when it is your own" -- yeah because you become totally encompassed by this new life you have created that you no longer recognize the life you had before the baby. I recognize that I may sound "selfish" to those who have made the choice to have children -- that too is a part of the child-rearing cycle that bothers me. "I don't know what I DID before I had her. I can't imagine focusing only on myself and my husband. " (It seems so selfish now.) gag.

It is always (or mostly always) bad to compare one party to the next, one hike to another. Comparisons generally build expectation and with that, one is less able to enjoy the moment, the now. But it is also natural to compare. This year was good for different reasons. The walk on the beach was amazing. Snow on the Cape was a true treat and pleasure to see. Meeting more of Jim's friends was good. The musical addition was my favorite by far. Reconnecting with Rich was affirming. The breakfasts were great. It was good -- it was different -- but good. So let's not compare.

Last Year...



This Year...but who's comparing?